HELLO FOLKS,
WELL, IT HAS BEEN SOME TIME SINCE I WROTE. IT IS JUNE AND HOT, HOT, HOT. DID I SAY IT WAS HOT? WELL, I HAVE BEEN A GOOD BOY. I HAVE BEEN SNEAKING INTO MOM'S BED SOME AT NIGHT. SHE IS GOOD TO SLEEP WITH, NICE AND CUDDLY. I NEED SNUGGLE TIME WITH HER. SHE STAYS SO BUSY, I FIGURE IT IS ONE OF MY JOBS TO CALM HER DOWN SOME. AND I KNOW SHE APPRECIATES ME LOOKING AFTER HER.
MOM HAS A TENDENCY TO GET INTO STUFF. NOW THAT IT IS HOT, I STAY HOME IN THE COOL. SHE HAS NO ONE TO TELL HER THE WORD "NO". THE YARD SALES ARE FINE, SHE BRINGS HOME LOTS OF JUNK AND IT CLUTTERS UP THE HOUSE, BUT SOMETIMES I GET SOME COOL TOYS. I HAVE LOTS OF GIANT TEDDY BEARS. JUSTICE TAKES A LOT OF THEM, HE IS SUCH A BABY. NOW, LET ME WRITE SOME EXAMPLES OF HER NOT BEHAVING.
SHE PUT ONE OF THE PAPILLONS IN THE GUEST ROOM AND TA-DAA, 6 BABIES WERE BORN. I TRY TO SNEAK IN AND LOOK AT THEM BUT THE MAMA DOG-DANCER BARKS AT ME. I JUST WANT TO LOOK. I PUT A PICTURE OF THEM HERE, THEY ARE 3 WEEKS OLD NOW. THE LITTLE RASCALS ARE STARTING TO BARK. BEFORE LONG THEY WILL BE TODDLING AROUND ON THE LIVING ROOM. MOM HAS A FLOOR MOBILE FOR THEM TO PLAY WITH AND TO LEARN. UH, I DIDN'T HAVE ONE OF THOSE WHEN I WAS A BABY.
THEN ONE NIGHT MOM DRAGGED IN 2 TINY KITTENS SHE HAD FOUND. SHE IS GOING TO FIND HOMES FOR THEM AND IT BETTER BE SOON. WE ALREADY HAVE SOME WALKING FLEA BAG MOOCHERS OUTSIDE. ALLRIGHT, MAYBE THEY DO NOT HAVE FLEAS, BUT THEY MOOCH BIG TIME.
THE OTHER NIGHT, MOM BRINGS A TURTLE INSIDE. SHE FOUND IT IN AUTUMN'S SWIMMING POOL. ( AUTUMN IS THE 11 YEAR OLD CHESSIE WE OWN). AS YOU CAN SEE IN THE PICTURE, IT HAS CONNED FOOD OUT OF US TOO. MOM SAYS SHE IS GOING TO TURN HIM OUT IN THE WOODS. BUT FIRST SHE HAD TO FIND OUT IF SHE SHOULD TAKE HIM TO A POND AREA OR IN THE WOODS. AFTER 2 HOURS OF HER AND THAT TURTLE, WHO SHE CALLS MR. T, LOOKING ON THE NET, SHE DECIDED HE WAS AN OLD BOX LAND TURTLE. HE IS PRETTY ACTIVE HERE IN THE HOUSE. SHE HAS HIM SLEEPING IN THE GUEST BATHTUB UNTIL SHE SENDS HIM BACK INTO THE WOODS. SAYS HE CANNOT ESCAPE THERE. FOLKS, DO YOU SEE WHAT I HAVE TO LIVE WITH IN THIS FAMILY????
NOW, MOM SAYS WE HAVE TO GO ON A DIET AND I FIND THAT DEPLORABLE, THE FIRST THING TO GO IS ------THAT'S RIGHT, CHEESEBURGERS!!!!!!! EVERYONE---- PLEASE WRITE MOM AND TELL HER THAT SHE CAN GIVE THEM UP BUT IT IS NOT FAIR FOR ME TO SUFFER BECAUSE SHE HAS TO DIET!!! I AM WELL WITHIN MY PROPER WEIGHT. BUTTONS, ETHEL, AND LUCY ARE FAT, SO THEY CAN DIET WITH MOM. BUT JUSTICE, ZIPPER, AND I ARE NOT AND SHOULD NOT HAVE TO SUFFER. BESIDES, I HAVE TO GET BACK ON THE ELECTION TRAIL AND MY CHEESEBURGER PLATFORM HAS TO STAND. IT LOOKS LIKE MY OPPONENTS HAVE FINALLY BEEN CHOSEN AFTER A DISGUSTING MUDSLINGING BATTLE. WITH THAT BEING SAID, NO FURTHER COMMENT TODAY. I'LL MAKE SOME IN ANOTHER LETTER.
DID I SAY IT WAS HOT?? MISS BUTTONS THE BULLDOG HAS HER BIKINI OUT, I JUST GO NAKED.
I AM GOING TO SIGN OFF FOR NOW. I HEAR MOM GETTING INTO SOMETHING IN THE OTHER ROOM. NOW WHAT?????
TAKE CARE OF YOURSELVES AND REMEMBER TO THANK GOD FOR ALL HE HAS DONE.
LOVE,
WALDO
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