WALDO IS GETTING READY FOR VALENTINE'S DAY, HERE IS THE LATEST CONVERSATION BETWEEN WALDO AND I.
MOM--"WALDO, ARE YOU READY FOR VALENTINE'S DAY?"
WALDO--"PRETTY MUCH MOM, I HAVE THE BEGGIN' STRIPS, THE FLOWERS, THE TEDDY BEARS, AND THE JUICY CRITTOURE GIFT SET, NOW I JUST HAVE TO DECIDE WHO TO GIVE THE STUFF TO."
MOM--"WHAT DO YOU MEAN, HOW MANY GIRLFRIENDS DO YOU HAVE?"
WALDO--"WELL, MOM, I HAVE A FEW, NOT TOO MANY, BUT MORE THAN ONE. I REALLY DO NOT WANT TO SAY EXACTLY HOW MANY, YOU ARE PUTTING ME ON THE SPOT MOM."
MOM--"OKAY, SO WHO LEFT THE LIPSTICK KISS ON YOUR COLLAR?"
WALDO--"WELL, MOM, LOLA LEFT IT THAT DAY THAT SHE AND I WENT ON A DATE. I WENT WITH HER AND HER PARENTS, MIKE AND TANIA. WE WENT OUT TO LUNCH AND GOT CHEESEBURGERS THAT DAY."
MOM--"WELL, WALDO, DON'T YOU THINK LOLA SHOULD BE YOUR VALENTINE??"
WALDO--"LOLA HAS BEEN SO BUSY LATELY, OUR SCHEDULES ARE JUST NOT MATCHING UP."
MOM--"WELL WALDO, I CAN UNDERSTAND THAT. WE ARE ALL SO BUSY. WHAT ABOUT EDIE THE POODLE?"
WALDO--"SINCE SHE MOVED TO NORTHERN VIRGINIA, I DO NOT GET TO SEE HER OFTEN AND A LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP IS JUST HARD. ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU WON'T LET ME TAKE THE CAR ANY MORE. GEE, I ONLY GOT ONE SPEEDING TICKET. AND YOU GOT A SPEEDING TICKET TOO MOM AND YOU STILL GET TO DRIVE."
MOM--"WALDO, YOU TOOK THE CAR WITH JUSTICE. YOU GUYS DID NOT TELL ME YOU WERE GOING ANYWERE. AND LETS NOT GET INTO THAT SUBJECT."
WALDO--"MOM, I HAVE A COUPLE OF HUMAN GIRLFRIENDS, BUT THESE ARE DOG GIFTS."
MOM--"THAT IS TRUE, SO YOU NEED TO CHOOSE A DOG GIRLFRIEND."
WALDO--"WELL MOM, ABOUT MY HUMAN GIRLFRIENDS, CAN YOU HANDLE THAT FOR ME, PLEASE?"
MOM--"SURE WALDO, I WILL TAKE CARE OF THAT FOR YOU. BY THE WAY, AM I ONE OF YOUR VALENTINES?"
WALDO--"COME ON MOM, YOU ARE NOT A GIRLFRIEND, YOU ARE A MOM, I THINK MOM'S DAY IS COMING UP IN MAY OR JUNE, THAT WILL BE YOUR DAY."
MOM--"OKAY, THANKS FOR THE EDUCATION. WELL, NAME SOME GIRLS, WALDO."
WALDO--"LUCY AND ETHEL, THE BULLDOG SISTERS ARE CUTE. BUT THEY ARE ON DIETS. I LIKE THAT LITTLE PAPILLON GIRL, LILLY, SHE IS PRETTY HOT. JEWEL, THE SHIH TZU IS A PRETTY BLONDE HAIRED GIRL. I LOVE HER BIG BROWN EYES. THAT NEW BULLDOG GIRL, LIBERTY ROSE IS REALLY PRETTY AND SUPER SMART TOO. OH, BY THE WAY MOM, WHO GOT ME VALENTINE'S GIFTS?"
MOM--"WELL, WALDO, USUALLY BOYS BUY GIFTS FOR GIRLS. NOT MANY GIRLS BUY GIFTS FOR BOYS."
WALDO--"EXCUSE ME. DID I HEAR YOU CORRECTLY? ARE YOU TRYING TO TELL ME I MAY NOT GET ANY GIFTS? AS CUTE AS I AM, I HAVE A HARD TIME ACCEPTING THAT. I SPENT A LOT OF MY ALLOWANCE ON GETTING THIS STUFF FOR A GIRLFRIEND."
MOM--"I KNOW WALDO, BUT THAT IS USUALLY HOW IT IS. WOMEN SOMETIMES GIVE CARDS BUT THE MAN BUYS HIS LADY PRESENTS, ALSO KNOW AS GIFTS OF LOVE."
WALDO--"WELL, IN THAT CASE, I KNOW WHAT I AM GOING TO DO. I AM GOING TO SPLIT UP ALL OF MY GIFTS AMONG ALL OF MY GIRLFRIENDS. THAT WAY, NO ONE IS GOING TO GET MAD AT ME. EVERYONE WILL LOVE ME. EVERYONE WILL BE HAPPY. NO ONE WILL FEEL UNLOVED."
MOM--"I THINK THAT IS A GREAT IDEA WALDO. I AM PROUD OF YOU. YOU ARE SO SMOOTH WALDO, NOW I KNOW WHY YOU HAVE SO MANY GIRLFRIENDS. ONE QUESTION, HOW ABOUT MS. ZIPPER, YOU GO OUTSIDE WITH HER A LOT, AND SHE IS A LOT OLDER THAN YOU."
WALDO--"I CAN DATE OLDER WOMEN MOM, THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT. MS. ZIPPER ACTS PRETTY YOUNG. SHE CAN STILL RUN WITH THE BEST OF THEM, AND BESIDES MOM, YOU WANT TO KNOW A SECRET?"
MOM--"YES WALDO, TELL ME, TELL ME!"
WALDO--"WELL MOM, YOU KNOW YOU ARE THE BIG BOSS AROUND HERE. BUT WHEN IT COMES TO US 4 LEGGED PEOPLE HERE, MS. ZIPPER IS THE BIG BOSS, SHE EVEN HAS MORE POWER THAN MISS BUTTONS, MORE SAY SO THAN THAT SILLY BIRD, AND ME BEING HER BOYFRIEND, WELL, THAT GIVES ME A LOT OF STATUS. YEA MOM, I'M NO DUMMY."
MOM--"YOU ARE RIGHT WALDO, YOU ARE A SMART RASCAL. AND I AM GLAD YOU ARE MY RASCAL. I THANK GOD FOR YOU AND ALL OF MY DOG KIDS EVERY DAY."
WALDO--"WE HAVE TO THANK GOD FOR SO MUCH MOM. HE HAS BLESSED US SO MUCH."
MOM--"YOU ARE RIGHT AGAIN WALDO."
WALDO--"MOM, LET'S WISH EVERYONE A WONDERFUL VALENTINE'S DAY AND WHETHER THEY HAVE BOY FRIENDS, GIRL FRIENDS, HUSBANDS, WIVES OR IF THEY ARE NOT DATING ANYONE, WE ALL KNOW THAT GOD LOVES THEM."
MOM--"SO TRUE WALDO."
HAPPY VALENTINES DAY TO EVERYONE
BE SURE TO SAY YOUR PRAYERS,
THANK GOD,
HAVE A BLESSED TIME UNTIL I WRITE AGAIN,
LOVE,
SIR WALDO MCGEE AND ELIZABETH (MOM)
The year's hottest artists on the red carpet at the Grammy Awards. AOL Music takes you there.
