WALDO--"MOM, WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WENT ON A DATE? YOU KNOW, A REAL DATE WITH A LIVING BREATHING MAN?"
MOM--"THAT IS A LITTLE PERSONAL WALDO. I AM NOT SURE THAT IS A PROPER SUBJECT FOR YOUR BLOG. WHY ARE YOU INTERESTED ANYWAY?"
WALDO--"GEE MOM, DON'T BE SO TOUCHY. MOTHER'S DAY IS COMING UP AND WE WANT TO GET YOU SOMETHING."
MISS BUTTONS--"WALDO, I TOLD YOU IT WAS A DUMB IDEA."
SIR JUSTICE--"YEA WALDO, WHY DON'T YOU EVER LISTEN TO US?"
ETHEL AND LUCY--"IT SOUNDED LIKE A REASONABLE IDEA TO US."
MIZZZ ZIPPER--"WELL, I AM NOT GIVING OUT MOM'S CREDIT CARD NUMBER ANYWAY WALDO."
MOM--"WILL SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME WHAT IS GOING ON? WHAT DOES ME DATING HAVE TO DO WITH MOTHER'S DAY?"
BABY LIBERY ROSE--"WALDO SAYS HE DOES NOT WANT YOU TO BE AN OLD MAID. WHATEVER THAT MEANS. I DON'T KNOW, I AM JUST A BABY BULLDOG."
WALDO--"LIBERTY, GO BACK AND PLAY WITH YOUR DUCK SOME MORE. GEE, YOU WERE NOT SUPPOSED TO TELL MOM SHE IS AN OLD MAID."
MOM--"HEY GUYS---NEWSFLASH!!! I AM NOT AN OLD MAID. I AM DIVORCED."
WALDO--"THAT MUST HAVE BEEN BEFORE WE WERE BORN, BECAUSE WE DO NOT REMEMBER YOU HAVING A HUSBAND."
MOM--"BACK TO MOTHER'S DAY AND WHY WOULD YOU WANT A CREDIT CARD WALDO? YOU CANNOT BUY A RED CONVERTIBLE FOR ME JUST BECAUSE YOU WANT ONE. AND NO RED LAP TOP EITHER!!"
WALDO--"IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THAT STUFF MOM. DO YOU KNOW WHO WILLIAM SHATNER IS?"
MOM--"OF COURSE, HE WAS ON MY ALL TIME FAVORITE TEE VEE SHOW, BOSTON LEGAL. HE PLAYED DENNY CRANE. HE IS GREAT, I LOVE HIM."
WALDO--"WELL THEN YOU KNOW HE ADVERTISES FOR SOME CLUB THAT YOU CAN BUY THINGS."
MOM--"I AM LISTENING WALDO, GO ON."
WALDO--"I THOUGHT I WOULD GO ON THE COMPUTER TO HIS CLUB AND BUY YOU A HUSBAND. I WOULD PICK OUT ONE WHO LOVES BULLDOGS, AND LOVES TO EAT."
MOM--"I SEE WALDO, BUT HONEY, YOU ARE A LITTLE CONFUSED."
SIR JUSTICE--"HAHAHAHAAHAHHAAH WALDO, YOU ARE CONFUSED, HAHAHAHHA"
WALDO--"BE QUIET JUSTY, YOU ARE JUST JEALOUS OF ME. BUTT OUT, THIS IS A CONVERSATION BETWEEN MOM AND ME."
MOM--"WALDO, THERE ARE MATCHMAKING CLUBS OUT THERE BUT SHATNER ADVERTISES FOR A TRAVEL CLUB. BESIDES WALDO, I DO NOT WANT TO LOOK FOR A HUSBAND THAT WAY. NOTHING WRONG WITH IT, BUT RIGHT NOW, IS JUST NOT THE RIGHT TIME."
WALDO--"OH, I JUST THOUGHT SHATNER WAS COOL AND HE COULD GET YOU A HUSBAND THAT WAS COOL. I KNOW YOU LIKE JAMES SPADER."
MOM--"YES, WALDO, I DO LIKE JAMES SPADER, BUT HE IS MARRIED. AND I WILL PROBLAY NEVER BE IN THE SAME PLACE AS HIM TO MEET HIM. A HUSBAND IS NOT THE BEST MOTHER'S DAY GIFT EITHER."
ETHEL AND LUCY--"WHAT DO YOU WANT? WE GOT TO GET YOU SOMETHING SPECIAL. YOU GET US CHEESEBURGERS AND BONES AND TREATS."
MISS BUTTONS--"I TOLD YOU SHE WOULD LIKE KRISPY KREME DOUGHNUTS."
MIZZZZ ZIPPER--"BUTTONS, YOU WANT KRISPY KREMES, ALL THE TIME. YOU SHOULD EAT MORE GREEN BEANS LIKE ME."
BABY LIBERTY ROSE--"WHAT IS A KRISPY KREME OR A GREEN BEAN?"
SIR JUSTICE--"FOOD. LIKE YOUR PUPPY BISCUITS, BUT FOR HUMANS."
WALDO--"WELL, WHAT DO WE GET YOU MOM?"
MOM--"HOW ABOUT WE HAVE A NICE PEACEFUL DAY. I WILL GET SOME CHEESEBURGERS, SOME KRISPY KREMES, SOME MOVIES, AND MAYBE SOME FLOWERS FOR THE TABLE."
WALDO-- "THAT SOUNDS BORING."
MOM--"THAT ALSO MEANS SHARING, NO NAME CALLING, THIS IS A DAY FOR ME, YOUR MOM. IT IS A DAY FOR ALL CHILDREN TO HONOR THEIR MOMS."
WALDO--"THAT STILL SOUNDS BORING. HOW ABOUT ALL OF US GOING TO A SINGLES CLUB FOR YOU, JUST IN CASE YOU SEE SOMEBODY YOU MIGHT LIKE. WELL MOM?
MOM--"NO WALDO, THIS IS MY DAY AND NO CLUBBING."
WALDO--" OKAY MOM, BUT REMEMBER NEXT MONTH, IT WILL BE JUNE AND IT WILL BE FATHER'S DAY AND SINCE I AM A PROUD PAPA, I GET TO CHOOSE WHAT WE WILL DO AND WHERE WE WILL, RIGHT MOM??"
MZZZ ZIPPER--"WHOA WHOA WHOA, WALDO, WAIT A MINUTE, I AM THE MATRIACH OF THIS CLAN AND I AGREE WITH MOM. WE WILL DISCUSS FATHER'S DAY IN JUNE. ALTHOUGH, WE MAY ORDER SOME PIZZA ALSO FOR MOTHER'S DAY. AFTER ALL, I DO HAVE THE CREDIT CARDS."
BABY LIBERTY ROSE--"HEY EVERYBODY, LOOK WHAT I JUST GOT FOR MOM! FLOWERS--THERE ARE A WHOLE BUNCH OF THEM AROUND THE DECK."
MOM--"GEE WHIZ, LIBBEY BABY, YOU DO NOT PICK FLOWERS THAT WAY. I KNOW, IT IS MY FAULT FOR PUTTING THE BENCH TOO CLOSE. ETHEL, AREN'T YOU SUPPOSED TO BE WATCHING HER?
BABY LIBERTY ROSE--" I'M SORRY, I AM JUST A BABY BULLDOG."
ETHEL--"I THOUGHT IT WAS WALDO'S TURN TO WATCH HER. BESIDES LIBERTY, DON'T FEEL BAD. YOU NEVER GET IN AS MUCH TROUBLE AS WALDO DOES."
WALDO--" WHY DOES EVERYONE SAY MY NAME SO FAST. IT WAS NOT MY TURN, I DO THINK IT WAS YOURS ETHEL. BESIDES, I THOUGHT SHE WAS PLAYING WITH HER DUCK. AND I DON'T GET IN A LOT OF TROUBLE EITHER!"
ETHEL--"YEA, RIGHT WALDO. REMEMBER WHEN............."
MOM--"THAT IS ENOUGH KIDS. LET'S JUST ALL REMEMBER TO THANK GOD FOR OUR MOTHERS. OKAY? NOW EVERYONE, FINISH IT ALL TOGETHER! PLEASE!!"
EVERYONE----
"HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY TO YOU
AND
MAY GOD BLESS EACH OF YOU.
WE ALL LOVE YOU MOM!"
