WALDO AND HIS LEPRECHAUN

A GOOD DAY TO YOU HAPPY FOLKS!

I HEAR PEOPLE HAVE BEEN LOOKING FOR ME. WELL, THE LAST COUPLE OF WEEKS HAVE BEEN A BIT OF A MESS, IF I DO SAY SO. LOTS OF STUFF GOING ON, BUT NOTHING REAL BAD OR GOOD. MOM HAS HAD A BIT OF A COLD. WE HAD A NEW LITTER OF SHIH TZU AND A NEW LITTER OF YORKIES BORN. WHY WE HAVE TO KEEP THOSE FLUFFY SNEEKY VARMINTS IN THE HOUSE IS A BIG MYSTERY TO ME. I HAVE TOLD MOM THEY ARE NOTHING BUT A BUNCH OF BEGGARS. ALWAYS WANTING SOMETHING. MOM LOVES THEM.....SO I GUESS SHE CAN KEEP THEM, BUT THE FINAL ANSWER IS "NO" TO ANY RAG TAG CATS. MOM IS ALLERGIC TO CATS SO I GUESS THE HOUSE IS SAFE.

I HAVE BEEN WATCHING THE PRESIDENTIAL RACE. IT LOOKS LIKE EVERYONE IS CLAMORING TO GET ALL THE VOTES THEY CAN. THEY ARE BEGGINNING TO SLING MUD STORIES AT ONE ANOTHER. I AM NOT GOING TO LOWER MY STANDARDS TO GET IN ON THAT NASTY DEED. NO SIR, I STAND BY MY STATEMENTS. I LOVE CHEESEBURGERS AND I DO NOT CARE WHO KNOWS IT. I HAVE BEEN KNOWN TO MUNCH ON SOME TASTY FRENCH FRIES AND EVEN A CHEESE STICK ONCE IN A WHILE. BUT I ALWAYS SAY NO TO CHOCOLATE AND NO TO RAISENS. SO LET THE DEMOCRATS AND REPUBLICANS FIGHT IT OUT. I AM AN INDEPENDENT BULLDOG AND PROUD OF IT. I WEAR THE COLORS OF RED, WHITE, AND BLUE.

NOW, ON TO GREENER STORIES, ST. PATRICKS DAY IS COMING UP ON THE 17 TH, QUICKLY FOLLOWED BY EASTER THE NEXT WEEK. SO THIS WEEK I PUT ON MY GREEN PARTY HAT AND BOW TIE. I TOLD MOM WE WOULD HAVE TO DANCE A JIG. SHE SAID FOR ME TO DREAM ON, SHE DOES NOT WANT TO DANCE WITH ME BECAUSE SHE CLAIMS I STEP ON HER TOES TOO MUCH. HA, TIS' THE OTHER WAY AROUND, SHE HAS THE BIG FEET!! BUT WHILE MOM WAS SNAPPING MY PICTURES, THE LITTLE VARMINT THAT STAYS IN HER BEDROOM, ALSO KNOWN AS COOTER THE YORKIE KEPT YAPPING. I LOOKED DOWN AND TOLD MOM HE LOOKED TO BE THE SIZE OF A LEPRECHAUN. COOTER TOOK OFFENSE TO THAT AND DEMANDED TO BE PUT UPON THE BED. SO UP CAME THE VARMINT. LOOK AT HIM GOOD FOLKS, HE IS 4 MONTHS OLD AND WEIGHS JUST 23 OUNCES. THAT IS 1 POUND AND 7 OUNCES. I HAVE EATEN STEAKS BIGGER THAN THAT. HE SCOOTED ALL OVER THE BED. UNDER ME, AROUND ME, OVER ME, HE IS A SLICK LITTLE THING. HE DEMANDED I TELL HIM WHAT A LEPRECHAUN IS OR HE WAS GOING TO BUST ME IN THE JAW. HAHAHAHA. GOTTA GIVE HIM CREDIT, HE IS NOT SCARED OF ANYTHING. I TOLD HIM A LEPRECHAUN WAS A TINY LITTLE FOREST CREATURE THAT IS SUPPOSED TO LEAD A PERSON TO A POT OF GOLD IF CAUGHT. IF THE LEPRECHAUN GETS AWAY, HE TAKES THE GOLD WITH HIM. WELL, COOTER SAID IT DID NOT SOUND LIKE A BAD NAME, SO OF ALL THINGS, HE KISSED ME ON THE NOSE. GEE WHIZ, I HOPE THIS DOES NOT BECOME A HABIT......

TILL NEXT TIME, TAKE CARE OF YOURSELVES,

AND

THANK GOD FOR ALL THE GOOD HE DOES,

LOVE,

WALDO MCGEE

---

It's Tax Time! Get tips, forms and advice on AOL Money & Finance.

Where In The World Is Waldo?

I think he's gone missing! Has anyone seen a cute whitefaced bulldog that looks like this:


What you will mostly notice about him is his outgoing personality and his tongue. He has been known to chase girls, cats, dogs... well, anything that moves. You will usually notice him dragging a woman along behind him. That would be his Mom, Elizabeth who does her best to keep up.

Miss Cindy, the teacher in pants

BACK ON THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL

HELLO EVERYONE,

 

OKAY, VALENTINE'S DAY IS OVER.  WHAT A GREAT DAY IT WAS.  SMOOCHES FROM MOM, THE GIRLS,  AND CHEESEBURGERS TOO.  MOM GOT A FUNNY LOOKING BULLDOG FROM MIKE AND TANIA,  IT'S A BOBBIN HEAD FAWN AND WHITE BULLDOG.  ZIPPER SAYS IT REMINDS HER OF SOME OF MY COMPETITORS,  ALWAYS SAYING YES TO ANYONE TO GET A VOTE.

 

SPEAKING OF THE PRESIDENTIAL CAMPAIGN, I'VE GOT TO GET BACK TO GATHERING MORE VOTERS. I HAVE BEEN LAX LATELY.  WE HAVE HAD SNOW AND IT HAS BEEN COLD.  AND FRANKLY, ON COLD MORNINGS, WE BULLIES LIKE TO SLEEP LATE.  MOM IS SLOW MOVING TOO.

 

PEOPLE HAVE BEEN WRITING THAT THEY WOULD LIKE TO SEE PICTURES OF MY CABINET APPOINTEES.  MY CHOICE FOR SECRETARY OF COMMERCE, MISS ETHEL, IS PICTURED. SHE  IS ALSO IN CHARGE OF FUNDRAISING FOR MY CAMPAIGN.  NOTICE HOW STERN SHE  LOOKS??  IT IS NOT JUST A LOOK, SHE REALLY IS PICKY.   SHE COUNTS EVERY BONE GIVEN OUT.  SHE KNOWS WHAT OUR CHOW COSTS AND WHO EATS THE MOST.  WOW, NOBODY BETTER GET STICKY PAWS WITH OUR COOKIES.  (JUSTICE, ARE YOU READING THIS??)  SHE HAS BEEN UPSET RECENTLY WITH ONE OF THE SNEAKY YORKIES AROUND HERE.   MIGHTY MOUSE ORDERED A NEW COAT AND CHARGED IT TO OUR MISC. ACCOUNT.  GEE, HIS NAME MIGHT BE MIGHTY BUT HE WAS A MOUSE WHEN SHE WAS RAKING HIM OVER THE COALS ABOUT IT.  HE TRIED TO JUSTIFY IT'S COST TO HER.  HE SAID IT WAS NECESSARY TO UPDATE HIS WADROBE BECAUSE ONE OF HIS GIRLFRIENDS CAME TO VISIT AND HE HAD TO LOOK SPIFFY.  ETHEL TOLD HIM HE WOULD HAVE TO BE SPIFFY ON HIS OWN DIME.  HE WAS MIFFED ABOUT THE DEAL BUT AGREED TO PAY THE MONEY BACK.  SEE, ETHEL JUST DOES NOT TAKE ANY SLACK OFF OF ANYONE.  EVERYONE CAN TAKE THAT AS A WARNING TO BEHAVE.

 

WELL FOLKS, IT IS TIME TO ME TO GET SOME SLEEP. KEEP THOSE EMAILS COMING IN, REMEMBER, I ANSWER QUESTIONS AND GIVE FREE ADVICE TOO.

 

REMEMBER, ENJOY YOUR LIFE TO THE FULLEST AND GIVE THANKS TO GOD.

 

SINCERELY,

WALDO FOR PRESIDENT

---

The year's hottest artists on the red carpet at the Grammy Awards. AOL Music takes you there.

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY FROM WALDO

THIS IS SIR WALDO

KNOW THAT I AM THINKING OF YOU,

SO DO NOT BE BLUE

I COULD HAVE SENT ROSES AND CANDY

BUT MOM WON'T LET ME HAVE THE CHARGE CARD

I COULD HAVE COME VISITED YOU

BUT MOM WON'T LET ME USE THE CAR

I COULD HAVE CALLED

BUT MOM SAID "NO" TO THAT TOO

FINALLY, I PUT MY PAW DOWN AND JUST TOLD HER

I WAS GOING TO POST A MESSAGE TO MY BLOG

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY TO ALL

GO OUT AND HAVE A BALL

FW: BEFORE WALDO, THERE WAS RUFF

.

 

 

MCGEE'S RUFF N TUFF MR BIG STUFF N APRIL

 

BEFORE WALDO CAME ALONG, THERE WAS ANOTHER TALKING BULLDOG: RUFF.

 

RUFF WAS AN ONLY CHILD OR PUPPY.  HE WAS BUTTONS' SISTER, MADDIE'S PUPPY.

 

SINCE BUTTONS WAS SHOWN AND NEVER BRED, SHE HAS HELPED RAISE UP THE BULLDOG PUPPIES.  RUFF WAS HER NEPHEW SO HE WAS SPECIAL.

 

RUFF LOVED ALL DOGS.  HE NEVER HAD AN UNKIND WORD FOR ANYONE.  BUT WHENEVER, ANYONE WOULD VISIT AND ASK WHO HE WAS, HE WOULD ANSWER.

 

ALL THEY HAD TO SAY WAS "WHAT'S YOUR NAME?"

 

AND HE WOULD ANSWER "RUFF RUFF".

 

PEOPLE LOVED THIS AND HE ALWAYS OBLIGED.

 

I SENT HIM OUT WITH A HANDLER FOR A WEEK OF SHOWS.  SHE CAME BACK AND TOLD ME THAT EVERY NIGHT AFTER THE SHOWS, OTHER HANDLERS AND OWNERS WOULD COME TO HER MOTORHOME AND ASK IF RUFF COME COME OUTSIDE.  THEN THEY WOULD TAKE TURNS ASKING HIM HIS NAME.  SHE SAID EVERYONE LOVED HIM.

 

NOT ONLY DID HE TALK BUT HE LOVED TO DRESS UP AS WELL.

 

UNFORTUNATELY, RUFF DIED OF SLEEP APNEA WHEN HE WAS JUST BARELY 2 YEARS OLD.  THIS IS VERY COMMON IN THE LARGER HEADED AND HEAVY CHESTED BULLDOGS.  I NEVER GOT A LITTER SIRED BY HIM EITHER. 

 

ELIZABETH

CAMPAIGNING, VALENTINES DAY, AND MORE

HELLO EVERYONE,

 

JUST A SHORT NOTE TO REMIND EVERYONE OF VALENTINES DAY THIS WEEK. 

 

MY E CARDS ARE THE PERFECT WAY TO TELL SOMEONE YOU LOVE THEM.   A PICTURE OF ME WITH THE WORDS, I LOVE YOU, IS FAR MORE PRECIOUS SOME SILLY STONES, FATTENING CANDY, OR CHOPPED UP FLOWERS.  BESIDES THEY ARE FREE.  THIS GIVES YOU MORE MONEY TO GO BUY...................WHATELSE, CHEESEBURGERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

I HAD TO ASK MOM IF WE HAD MOVED TO THE WINDY CITY YESTERDAY.  JUSTICE THOUGHT WE WERE IN THE WIZARD OF OZ AND HE WAS LOOKING FOR MISS BUTTON'S  RUBY RED SLIPPERS.  (YEA, LIKE SHE WAS GOING TO LET HIM PUT HIS STINKY TOES IN HER SHOES)

 

"EXCUSE ME WALDO, MY TOES ARE NOT STINKY.  SMELL YOUR OWN"---JUSTICE.

 

OH, WHATEVER JUSTICE, BUTT OUT, I AM TALKING TO MY PEOPLE.

 

ON  A BIT OF A SAD NOTE, MY WIFE, GRACIE IS NOT PREGNANT.   SHE IS WITH HER MOM AND DAD WHO ARE SHOWERING HER WITH LOTS OF EXTRA ATTENTION BECAUSE OF THIS NEWS. I HAVE ASSURED HER THAT I STILL LOVE HER AND WE WILL TRY AGAIN.

 

MY PRESIDENTIAL CAMPAIGN IS COMING ALONG QUITE WELL.  I GUESS THE OTHER CANDIDATES ARE PRETTY SCARED OF ME BECAUSE THEY DO NOT WANT TO DEBATE WITH ME.  I THOUGHT SURELY AS MUCH AS HILLARY LIKES TO TALK, SHE WOULD HAVE AGREED TO IT.  SHE CAN TALK OUT OF BOTH SIDES OF HER MOUTH, AND STILL BE PULLING THE STRINGS ON BILL.

 

WELL, GOTTA GO, SPEECHES TO WRITE, PUPPIES TO KISS, SO MUCH TO DO, IT IS HARD TO GET IN ALL OF MY NAPS.  I AM POSTING A PICTURE  OF ME OUT ASKING FOR VOTES, THIS IS PRISSY THE PIG.  I HAVE HER VOTE, SHE SAYS SHE KNOWS THERE WILL BE NO EXTRA PORK IN MY BUDGET.

 

LIVE EVERYDAY TO THE FULLEST AND REMEMBER TO GIVE GOD ALL THANKS,

 

LOVE,

WALDO

---

Who's never won? Biggest Grammy Award surprises of all time on AOL Music.

JUSTICE AND WALDO TRY TO GO SHOPPING

JUSTICE--COME ON WALDO, LET'S GO.  HURRY UP.  YOU ARE SO SLOW.

 

WALDO--WAIT A MINUTE JUSTICE, I HAVE TO TELL MOM WE ARE GOING.

 

JUSTICE--  NO WALDO, LET IT BE A SURPRISE TO HER.

 

WALDO-- NO JUSTICE, WAIT A MINUTE.

 

WALDO--MOM, MOM, MOM!!!!!!

 

YES WALDO, I AM HERE, WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU NOW?

 

WELL, I JUST WANTED TO TELL YOU THAT JUSTICE AND I GOT YOUR CREDIT CARD AND WE ARE GOING TO TOWN IN THE CAR.  WE WILL BE BACK BEFORE DARK.  OKAY, BYE.

 

WALDO, JUSTICE, BOTH OF YOU STOP RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE, I MEAN IT, STOP!

 

WHAT IS IT MOM, DO YOU NEED SOMETHING WHILE WE ARE OUT??

 

NO, YOU BOYS DO NOT HAVE A DRIVER'S LICENSE, YOU CANNOT DRIVE A CAR, AND YOU CANNOT USE MY CREDIT CARD, AND WHY DID YOU TAKE ANYTHING OUT OF MY PURSE????

 

MOM, DIDN'T YOU JUST USE BAD ENGLISH? WITH STATEMENTS AND A QUESTION IN THE SAME SENTENCE, IS THAT ALLOWED?  SOUNDS LIKE YOU USED TOO MANY "ANDS" TOO.

 

WALDO, DO NOT TRY TO CHANGE THE SUBJECT.  WHO TOLD YOU TWO BOYS CAN GO OUT?  AND WHERE WERE YOU GOING AND WHAT WERE YOU GOING TO BUY???

 

GEE, MOM.  ARE YOU GETTING SENILE OR WHAT?  NEXT WEEK IS VALENTINE'S DAY.  JUSTICE AND I HAVE TO BUY BONES FOR SOME SPECIAL SWEETHEARTS.  THEN WE THOUGHT WE WOULD CRUISE THRU MICKEY D'S FOR SOME CHEEESEBURGERS AND FRIES.  MAYBE A MILKSHAKE.

 

JUSTICE- I WAS GOING TO DRIVE SINCE I AM THE OLDEST.  WE HAVE BOTH WATCHED YOU DRIVE A LOT.  IT DOES NOT LOOK THAT HARD.  JUST GO UP THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD LIKE YOU DO.  WAVE AT  PEOPLE WHEN THEY TOOT THEIR HORN AT YOU, WE KNOW THE CAR LINGO.  JUST AS LONG AS WE SLOW UP A LOT WHEN WE SEE THOSE FANCY CARS WITH THE BLUE LIGHTS ON TOP.  WHEN WE SEE THOSE 3 LIGHTS, THE TOP ONE LIT UP MEANS WE STOP.  THE BOTTOM ONE LIT, WE GO THRU IT.  AND IF  THE MIDDLE ONE LIGHTS UP, WELL SPEED THRU IT.  WHEN WE GET TO THE STORES, PARK OUT IN THE MIDDLE OF SOME WHITE LINES.  THEN WHEN WE GET TO MICKY D'S, JUST BARK WHAT WE WANT INTO THAT LITTLE BOX AND CRUISE UP TO THE WINDOW, AND BINGA BANGA, THE FOOD IS GIVEN TO US.  SO CAN WE GO NOW?

 

NO, NEITHER OF YOU CAN GO. YOU JUST CANNOT GO OUT ALONE. THAT'S FINAL. AND NO BACK BARKING. 

 

WALDO- BUT MOM, WHAT ABOUT THE BABES???  I BET JACK HAS ALREADY GOT STUFF FOR HIS GIRLFRIENDS.  THAT SHIH TZU OPIE IS BRAGGING ABOUT WHAT HE HAS FOR HIS HOTTIES.  AND MIGHTY MOUSE  IS EVEN HAVING A GIRL COME VISIT FOR A WEEK.  HOW EMBARRASSING IT WILL BE IF WE DON'T HAVE STUFF.  WE THOUGHT ABOUT GETTING YOU SOMETHING TOO! 

 

LET'S MAKE A DEAL FELLAS, I WILL TAKE YOU BOTH TO THE STORE LATER THIS WEEK AND YOU CAN PICK OUT SOMETHING.  THEN WE WILL GO THRU MICKEY D'S.  OKAY?  AND IN THE MEANTIME, YOU BOTH CAN DO SOME CHORES AROUND HERE TO EARN SOME BONE MONEY.

 

WHAT CHORES???  THAT IS JUST NOT RIGHT.  WHAT DO WE HAVE TO DO?

 

YOU CAN PICK UP SOME OF YOUR TOYS.  THAT WOULD BE NICE.

 

YEA, WE THOUGHT THAT WAS YOUR JOB.

 

NOT EXACTLY GUYS.  I BUY THE TOYS, YOU PLAY WITH THEM, YOU CAN LEARN TO PUT THEM IN THE TOYBOX.

 

YOU DID NOT BUY ALL THE TOYS, SANTA BROUGHT A LOT OF TOYS TO US.

 

I THINK THAT CAN BE ANOTHER CONVERSATION.  COME ON,  LET ME GET BACK TO WORK.  YOU GUYS PUT MY CHARGE CARD BACK.

 

WE THOUGHT YOU FORGOT THAT WE HAD THAT.

 

NO GUYS, I AM NOT THAT FORGETFUL YET. PUT IT BACK.

 

GEE WALDO, I TOLD YOU TO JUST SNEAK OUT.  OH WELL, LET'S GO SEE WHAT IS ON TEE VEE, MAYBE THEY WILL HAVE A BULLDOG DECK PARTY GOING ON, WE CAN WATCH SOME SEXY CHUNKY HOT BABES.  THAT LITTLE BRINDLE GIRL WAS CUTE LAST WEEK.

 

OKAY JUSTICE. GO POP SOME POPCORN. SEE YOU LATER MOM.

 

ALLRIGHT GUYS, LOVE YOU BOTH.

 

LOVE YOU TOO MOM.

 

 

---

Who's never won? Biggest Grammy Award surprises of all time on AOL Music.