MOTHER'S DAY 2009

WALDO--"MOM, WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WENT ON A DATE?  YOU KNOW, A REAL DATE WITH A LIVING BREATHING MAN?"

 

MOM--"THAT IS A LITTLE PERSONAL WALDO.  I AM NOT SURE THAT IS A PROPER SUBJECT FOR YOUR BLOG.  WHY ARE YOU INTERESTED ANYWAY?"

 

WALDO--"GEE MOM, DON'T BE SO TOUCHY.  MOTHER'S DAY IS COMING UP AND WE WANT TO GET YOU SOMETHING."

 

MISS BUTTONS--"WALDO, I TOLD YOU IT WAS A DUMB IDEA."

 

SIR JUSTICE--"YEA WALDO, WHY DON'T YOU EVER LISTEN TO US?"

 

ETHEL AND LUCY--"IT SOUNDED LIKE A REASONABLE IDEA TO US."

 

MIZZZ ZIPPER--"WELL, I AM NOT GIVING OUT MOM'S CREDIT CARD NUMBER ANYWAY WALDO."

 

MOM--"WILL SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME WHAT IS GOING ON?  WHAT DOES ME DATING HAVE TO DO WITH MOTHER'S DAY?"

 

BABY LIBERY ROSE--"WALDO SAYS HE DOES NOT WANT YOU TO BE AN OLD MAID.  WHATEVER THAT MEANS.  I DON'T KNOW, I AM JUST A BABY BULLDOG."

 

WALDO--"LIBERTY, GO BACK AND PLAY WITH YOUR DUCK SOME MORE.  GEE, YOU WERE NOT SUPPOSED TO TELL MOM SHE IS AN OLD MAID."

 

MOM--"HEY GUYS---NEWSFLASH!!!  I AM NOT AN OLD MAID.  I AM DIVORCED."

 

WALDO--"THAT MUST HAVE BEEN BEFORE WE WERE BORN, BECAUSE WE DO NOT REMEMBER YOU HAVING A HUSBAND."

 

MOM--"BACK TO MOTHER'S DAY AND WHY WOULD YOU WANT A CREDIT CARD WALDO?  YOU CANNOT BUY A RED CONVERTIBLE FOR ME JUST BECAUSE YOU WANT ONE.  AND NO RED LAP TOP EITHER!!"

 

WALDO--"IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THAT STUFF MOM.  DO YOU KNOW WHO WILLIAM SHATNER IS?"

 

MOM--"OF COURSE, HE WAS ON MY ALL TIME FAVORITE TEE VEE SHOW, BOSTON LEGAL.  HE PLAYED DENNY CRANE. HE IS GREAT, I LOVE HIM."

 

WALDO--"WELL THEN YOU KNOW HE ADVERTISES FOR SOME CLUB THAT YOU CAN BUY THINGS."

 

MOM--"I AM LISTENING WALDO, GO ON."

 

WALDO--"I THOUGHT I WOULD GO ON THE COMPUTER TO HIS CLUB AND BUY YOU A HUSBAND.  I WOULD PICK OUT ONE WHO LOVES BULLDOGS, AND LOVES TO EAT."

 

MOM--"I SEE WALDO, BUT HONEY, YOU ARE A LITTLE CONFUSED."

 

SIR JUSTICE--"HAHAHAHAAHAHHAAH WALDO, YOU ARE CONFUSED, HAHAHAHHA"

 

WALDO--"BE QUIET JUSTY, YOU ARE JUST JEALOUS OF ME.  BUTT OUT, THIS IS A CONVERSATION BETWEEN MOM AND ME."

 

MOM--"WALDO, THERE ARE MATCHMAKING CLUBS OUT THERE BUT SHATNER ADVERTISES FOR A TRAVEL CLUB.  BESIDES WALDO, I DO NOT WANT TO LOOK FOR A HUSBAND THAT WAY.  NOTHING WRONG WITH IT, BUT RIGHT NOW, IS JUST NOT THE RIGHT TIME."

 

WALDO--"OH, I JUST THOUGHT SHATNER WAS COOL AND HE COULD GET YOU A HUSBAND THAT WAS COOL.  I KNOW YOU LIKE JAMES SPADER."

 

MOM--"YES, WALDO, I DO LIKE JAMES SPADER, BUT HE IS MARRIED.  AND I WILL PROBLAY NEVER BE IN THE SAME PLACE AS HIM TO MEET HIM.  A HUSBAND IS NOT THE BEST MOTHER'S DAY GIFT EITHER."

 

ETHEL AND LUCY--"WHAT DO YOU WANT?  WE GOT TO GET YOU SOMETHING SPECIAL.  YOU GET US CHEESEBURGERS AND BONES AND TREATS."

 

MISS BUTTONS--"I TOLD YOU SHE WOULD LIKE KRISPY KREME DOUGHNUTS."

 

MIZZZZ ZIPPER--"BUTTONS, YOU WANT KRISPY KREMES, ALL THE TIME.  YOU SHOULD EAT MORE GREEN BEANS LIKE ME."

 

BABY LIBERTY ROSE--"WHAT IS A KRISPY KREME OR A GREEN BEAN?"

 

SIR JUSTICE--"FOOD. LIKE YOUR PUPPY BISCUITS, BUT FOR HUMANS."

 

WALDO--"WELL, WHAT DO WE GET YOU MOM?"

 

MOM--"HOW ABOUT WE HAVE A NICE PEACEFUL DAY.  I WILL GET SOME CHEESEBURGERS, SOME KRISPY KREMES, SOME MOVIES, AND MAYBE SOME FLOWERS FOR THE TABLE."

 

WALDO-- "THAT SOUNDS BORING."

 

MOM--"THAT ALSO MEANS SHARING, NO NAME CALLING, THIS IS A DAY FOR ME, YOUR MOM.  IT IS A DAY FOR ALL CHILDREN TO HONOR THEIR MOMS."

 

WALDO--"THAT STILL SOUNDS BORING.  HOW ABOUT ALL OF US GOING TO A SINGLES CLUB FOR YOU, JUST IN CASE YOU SEE SOMEBODY YOU MIGHT LIKE.  WELL MOM?

 

MOM--"NO WALDO, THIS IS MY DAY AND NO CLUBBING."

 

WALDO--" OKAY MOM, BUT  REMEMBER NEXT MONTH, IT WILL BE JUNE AND IT WILL BE FATHER'S DAY AND SINCE I AM A PROUD PAPA, I GET TO CHOOSE WHAT WE WILL DO AND WHERE WE WILL, RIGHT MOM??"

 

MZZZ ZIPPER--"WHOA WHOA WHOA, WALDO, WAIT A MINUTE, I AM THE MATRIACH OF THIS CLAN AND I AGREE WITH MOM.  WE WILL DISCUSS FATHER'S DAY IN JUNE.  ALTHOUGH, WE MAY ORDER SOME PIZZA ALSO FOR MOTHER'S DAY.  AFTER ALL, I DO HAVE THE CREDIT CARDS."

 

BABY LIBERTY ROSE--"HEY EVERYBODY, LOOK WHAT I JUST GOT FOR MOM!  FLOWERS--THERE ARE A WHOLE BUNCH OF THEM AROUND THE DECK."

 

MOM--"GEE WHIZ, LIBBEY BABY, YOU DO NOT PICK FLOWERS THAT WAY.  I KNOW, IT IS MY FAULT FOR PUTTING THE BENCH TOO CLOSE.  ETHEL, AREN'T YOU SUPPOSED TO BE WATCHING HER?

 

BABY LIBERTY ROSE--" I'M SORRY, I AM JUST A BABY BULLDOG." 

 

ETHEL--"I THOUGHT IT WAS WALDO'S TURN TO WATCH HER.  BESIDES LIBERTY, DON'T FEEL BAD. YOU NEVER GET IN AS MUCH TROUBLE AS WALDO DOES."

 

WALDO--" WHY DOES EVERYONE SAY MY NAME SO FAST.  IT WAS NOT MY TURN, I DO THINK IT WAS YOURS ETHEL.  BESIDES, I THOUGHT SHE WAS PLAYING WITH HER DUCK. AND I DON'T GET IN A LOT OF TROUBLE EITHER!"

 

ETHEL--"YEA, RIGHT WALDO.   REMEMBER WHEN............."

 

MOM--"THAT IS ENOUGH  KIDS.  LET'S JUST ALL REMEMBER TO THANK GOD FOR OUR MOTHERS. OKAY?  NOW EVERYONE, FINISH IT ALL TOGETHER! PLEASE!!"

 

EVERYONE----

"HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY TO YOU

AND

MAY GOD BLESS EACH OF YOU.

 

WE ALL LOVE YOU MOM!"

 

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